Posted Oct 14, 2019 at 13:00. Revised Sep 5, 2021 at 11:49.
Being JD Nobody makes me a most important person. Indeed, millions of people quote me every day when they find themselves in a mess. The great beauty in saying “Nobody told me” is that no one can ever question you about whether it is true or false. You win either way when you quote me or pretend to quote me because it will be unclear to your listener whether the word “nobody” is a proper noun or just a convenient collective noun.
The more complexity people find in the world around them, the more likely they are to seek oversimplification. My mission is to give you the cover you need to truthfully say “Nobody told me” when someone challenges you. This response will be especially convenient when I, JD Nobody, have in fact told you something you don’t want to admit to knowing.
/s/ JD Nobody (ho, hum), OC ’61.